Lets be honest the only thing University's really taught me so far is I truly enjoy making poor choices.
1. The easiest way to spend less money on laundry- spend more money on underwear.
2. Privacy is an idea created by the human mind. It doesn’t actually exist. Especially not in residence.
3. ALWAYS wear a condom. Even if you’re on bc and you know riding bareback is way more fun. WEAR it. Especially if you’re planning on double dipping.
4. Keep chocolate hidden in rare and unusual places people won’t find it.
5. Never start a statement with “I’ve got cookies!” and expect to have any left in 10 seconds.
6. Some jerk will always piss all over the toilet seat.
7. You CAN survive on Fruit Loops for several days at a time.
8. When people say university isn’t that much more work than highschool - they lied. Or they only took like 2 classes. And failed them.
9. A bottle of sauvignon blanc makes Italian much easier to learn.
10. Never assume on a Friday night you’ve got enough alcohol for the weekend. Always have backups on hand.
11. Don’t have sex in your friend’s bed.
12. Don’t assume you can have sex in your friend’s bed and it can remain a secret.
13. Actually, don’t assume you can have -any- secrets.
14. When people say you can’t use tumblr and facebook in class- they’re lying.
15. Tutorials aren’t actually helpful. Regardless of what people say.
16. NEVER miss a lab. You’ll be fucked for the final.
17. As long as they post the slides online skipping class isn’t that bad.
And last but not least
18. Don’t expect to come home and not miss anyone. It’s like amputating a limb.